Profile My Heart
by CriminalSoul
Summary: After an argument, JJ and Spencer broke up. But when they try to live without each other, they fail. A tragic event will force them to move closer. And this event will make two other agents move closer.


Jennifer Jareau's POV

It has now been three weeks since I broke up with Spencer. Since, I haven't seen him and I haven't shown to work. I don't know what to do... All the team members, including Spencer, tried to reach me. However, I don't answer the phone and I didn't go out for three weeks. I haven't even taken my shower!

I'm in my bed, eyes still wet. I hear someone knocking at my door, but I don't answer.

"Open the door or we smash it!"

I don't answer. I know that they will smash the door, but that doesn't bother me more than that.

BAM!

I hear the door shattering and I also hear footsteps approaching my room. I hear the team entering.

"I'm warning you: if Spencer is here, I want all of you to get out of here, even him."

"He's not here," Emily says to me, with a gentle voice.

She puts her hand in my hair. I turn and I notice Morgan, Hotch, Rossi, and Penelope.

Hotch looks at me, concerned.

"How long has it been since the last time you've eaten?" he asks me.

I don't answer his question.

"I hope you'll repair my door," I say, looking right in front of me.

Penelope places a pillow behind my back and I weakly sit up straight. My colleagues notice the pounds I've lost.

"JJ, you're not fine. You need help," Penelope says to me.

Emily sits on the corner of my bed, and she puts her hand on my forehead.

"You have a high temperature."

"JJ, as long as you are not restored from your breakup, we'll stay here by your side," Rossi declares.

"And the unit? You need to go to work," I say.

"We all take vacations," Hotch says.

Everyone agrees.

"But there's not enough space for everybody!" I say.

"Stop worrying about the details," Morgan answers. "I'm gonna pick up a few old sleeping bags. I'll sleep on the couch."

"I'll also sleep in the living room," Rossi says.

"I won't stay because even though we take vacations, I have some papers to fill," Aaron declares.

"Emily and I just have to sleep in your bedroom," Penelope says.

I don't move. I know that I'm obligated...

* * * * * * * * * *

It is now 7pm and I just swallowed my first real meal in the last three weeks.

Emily is currently checking if I still have a high temperature.

"You have lost a lot of strength lately."

She takes the thermometer.

"102.1F. You're hot, you should get some sleep. In a few days, you'll be feeling better."

She goes out, closing the door.

I hear my colleagues talking in the kitchen, but I can't discern what they're saying.

I close my eyes and fall asleep...

* * * * * * * * * *

It is now 9pm to rely on my clock. I notice that Penelope and Emily are sleeping. Morgan and Rossi must be doing the same in the living room...

I don't feel very well. I'm cold, I'm dizzy and I'm nauseous...

I quickly get up and I run to my bathroom. I kneel down in front of the toilet and I vomit. I think it's tonight's meal...

Emily, worried, joins me. She touches my forehead, but I already know that I still have a fever... She gets me a wet compress and puts it on my forehead.

After having vomited everything I had in my stomach, Emily helps me to get up and to go to my bedroom. Once in my bed, Emily takes a little chair and places it near my bed. She lays down a gentle kiss on my forehead before putting back the compress.

Then, I fall asleep, Emily by my side.

My sleep is pretty agitated. I have difficulty to stay asleep and I wake up a lot. I cannot stop thinking about Spencer. What would have happened if things were different? I feel like I'm going to have insomnia. I take my cellphone and I turn it on. The light coming from the screen blinds me. It's 3:21am. My lock screen is still a picture of Spence and me.

It's from when we were in Arizona for a case. After the case, we had taken times for ourselves, and we went to a desert. It was a great time. I miss him. We did have a bad time, but... Okay. I'm doing it. Let's go.

I take out my cellphone and I go in my contacts. I click on Spencer's. I wait a few seconds. However, I immediately regret what I'm doing and I hang up. In my bed, I turn to what used to be Spence's side. It still smells like him. A part of me wants to sniff the sheets and falls in love with him again, but another part of me knows we both hurt each other and I don't want to suffer anymore. I feel a few tears running down my cheeks, my breath speeds up a little bit. I can't help it.

"Is everything alright?" I hear Penelope saying.

I can't answer. I hear her getting up, and she sits on my bed. I'm turning my back to her; I don't want her to see me like that.

"Are you... crying?" she asks, rubbing my arm.

I slowly turn to her.

"Oh, JJ..."

She puts my hair away from my face with the tip of her fingers. She also wipes my tears.

"Come here," she declares, hugging me.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

"Don't be. You have the right to be sad and exhausted. What you went through was pretty rough. It's normal to feel like that. That's why we're here. Do you want me to prepare you some herbal tea?"

"No... I'm really not in the mood..."

She touches my forehead.

"JJ... You're really hot... It's not normal. And I don't want you to end up at the hospital, because you're going crazy and you're hallucinating. Come here."

She gets up of the bed and makes me sign to follow her. I put my phone back on my nightstand and I walk to her, without waking Emily up. We walk to my bathroom.

"Get in the shower," she tells me.

"Wha...? Why? I don't want you to see me naked!"

"With all your clothes, you dummy. I'm gonna bring you another pajama after. But let's not think about this. Get in the shower."

I really don't want to start an argument right now and I don't know why she wants me to do that and it makes me curious. So I get in the shower. She turns the water on. It's so cold.

"I'm gonna try to make your temperature goes down."

I'm shivering under the water.

"C'mon! Put some hot water! I'm gonna die of hypothermia!"

"No, you're not, because the water is not even that cold. You think it's cold because of your fever."

"I'm not even sick... Why would I have a fever?"

"Maybe because you haven't properly eaten in the last weeks? Your body has weakened a lot, you know? And you're not able to process food as you used to, that's why you got sick earlier. What you did was not good for your body at all."

"Okay, I've understood... Can you turn the water off now?"

"In a few minutes. I'm gonna let your temperature go down a little bit more. Then I'm gonna go pick up a dry pajama for you."


End file.
